Immortals

        Immortals is just one of those movies.  You get exactly what you expect.  It’s like an incredibly giant piece of chocolate cake.  You know it’s not good for you and you know you shouldn’t eat it, but you go ahead and do it anyway.  And just like a rich dessert, you feel slightly queasy afterward.  

Immortals is a Greek epic film that desperately wants to be the movie ‘300’.  It values style over substance and visual over story.  I have to admit that it is an optic feast of style and coolness, but alas it isn’t anything that we haven’t seen before and it wasn’t done anywhere near as well as ‘300’ (the Frank Miller masterpiece).  Whenever you have a film try to copy another film’s success it rarely provides anything satisfying.

The story recounts the quest of the mad King Hyperion (played psychotically by Mickey Rourke [he really has found his acting niche as the creepy tough guy]) to retrieve a magical bow that he will use to release the Titans (it helps to have an understanding of Greek Mythology to understand some of the motivations here).  He seeks to reignite the war between the Titans and the Olympian Gods.  Hyperion will raze every town necessary in order to acquire the bow.  He will even commit sacrilege against the Gods by pillaging one of their temples in order to acquire the virginal Oracle (Freda Pinto with an Indian accent that didn’t seem out of place) who can direct him to the bow. 

Into this tableau, we are introduced to a downtrodden peasant whose mountainside village is fleeing the onslaught of Hyperion’s armies.  Theseus (Henry Cavill [the man who will portray Superman next year]) is a scrappy young mamma’s boy with a spray tan, lot’s of coconut body oil, and apparently lots of time to spend on a Bowflex.  He does not care for the aristocracy in his village and is ultimately cast out after defending his mother’s honor.  It’s is not until he comes across the virginal Oracle (I don’t mean to keep using the word virginal but they did in the movie so I feel compelled to do so here) that he realizes that he has a greater destiny of opposing the evil King Hyperion.  The Oracle’s visions of his future guide his path that will lead to glory or despair.

The plot becomes less coherent and contrived from there.  The movie focuses excessively on the super hero like Greek gods and their epic slow motion battles.  Manly men do manly things as are wont to happen in Greek mythology and of course the Good Theseus finally meets the Evil Hyperion.  

I don’t mean to dwell on ‘300’ while doing a review of another movie, but the envy of that film in this was palpable.  Where ‘300’ was ground breaking, this film just felt recycled.  It’s the same lack of satisfaction you get when you realize you are eating a Hydrox cookie instead of an actual Oreo.  

If you want to go and be mesmerized by style and ambience  (even if a lot is creepy), then go right ahead and enjoy your dessert.  There’s nothing wrong with that; chow down.  But, if you are going expecting a main course then feast elsewhere.  This movie provides no nutritional value.

I give this film * 1/2 stars

Tower Heist

            I always approach movies with an ensemble cast with caution.  Of course there are exceptions, but most major star ensemble casts seem to produce mediocre movies that celebrate stars getting together over story line.  Tower Heist is no exception.  I will confess that I had fun, but it is an easily forgettable movie despite its’ good moments.  If you are looking for just a pleasant diversion then the movie is good enough.

                The movie’s story line fits right into the current ‘Occupy Wall Street’ and Bernie Madhoff news cycles.  It’s about the underpaid working guys getting taken advantage by the rich Wall Street guy.  Pure revenge escapism for the tough economic times we are in.  Ben Stiller plays Josh Kovaks, the affable manager of an exclusive apartment building in downtown Manhattan.  The building runs with the high tech security and precision of a military base, but Josh has an affection for all his quirky employees and richly eccentric tenants.  He even plays online chess with the wealthiest tenant, Arthur Shaw (played with left wing contempt of the character by Alan Alda).  The trouble starts when Arthur Shaw is arrested by the FBI for shady financial dealings and the staff comes to realize that Josh trustingly invested all their pensions in one of Shaw’s portfolios.  Their money is nowhere to be found.  Josh loses his job after aggressively confronting the unrepentant Shaw.

                Josh is positive that Shaw has a stash of hidden money in his apartment that the FBI hasn’t found.  Josh feels that his knowledge of the building makes him the ideal person to break in and find the money and thus return all the money that was lost to his friends.  He recruits others who were fired and even the evicted tenant Mr. Fitzhugh (played with wide eyed timidity by Mathew Broderick) to help him in his plan.  The one thing that is missing is a real criminal, so he finds the only one he knows, who also happens to be a childhood acquaintance, by the name of Slide (Eddie Murphy).  Even after all these years, Eddie Murphy can make me laugh doing the exact same things he has been doing for the last 30 years.  His character provides most of the energy and big laughs throughout the movie.  I wonder how many of his rants were ad-libbed because they seemed so effortless and spontaneous. 

                Arthur Shaw is straight out of the Wall Street Villain cliché handbook and the other characters, while enjoyably quirky, did not provide any surprises to the movie.   Even Tea Leoni, as  the FBI agent  leading the case against Shaw, is played generically and she is only in the movie to provide an unlikely love interest for Josh.  I want to spot light supporting actor Michael Pena who is quickly coming on my radar as a comedic actor to watch.  I first became aware of him in the film ‘Observe and Report’ (hilarious if not weird), but I enjoy everything he is in.  His character, Enrique Dev’Reaux, is understated but a perfect sidekick compliment to Josh.  Gabourey Sidibe as the Jamaican maid proves that she is not a one shot wonder in terms of acting ability.

                I laughed often and sometimes even hard, but the movie is incredibly predictable and there really is no doubt how everything will be resolved.   This is straight Hollywood cookie cutter movie making, but I enjoy my Chips Ahoy like everyone else on occasion.

I give this movie ** ½ Stars



The Rum Diary

The Rum Diary

I approach this review with caution.  There is no actor I respect more than Johnny Depp.  I will see any movie that he is in whether it looks like something I want to see or not.  Depp’s literary idol and personal friend was the late Hunter S. Thompson and he has been trying to get this movie made since before he was Captain Jack Sparrow.  It finally got made, but this movie will only find a niche market as it takes a certain type of person to appreciate Hunter S. Thompson (and that kind is rapidly disappearing). Thompson harkens back to the age of the hippie counter culture of the early 1960’s and his stories glorify excessive drug abuse and anti-establishment behavior.  The characters don’t really connect to modern sensibilities and there is very little that seems noble about a story that derives most of it’s nobility from drug abuse and poverty.

The Rum Diary is about a down and out writer, Paul Kemp (Johnny Depp), who departs the fast-paced capitalistic society of late Eisenhower era New York City for the pristine sunshine and beaches of Puerto Rico.  Paul fits right in as a writer for the local San Juan Star newspaper run by the downtrodden editor, Lotterman (veteran character actor Richard Jenkins is always a pleasure).  It’s a newspaper circling the drain and staffed by a ragtag group of reporters and writers who have reached their wits end and given up on life.  They spend their days drinking and getting high as they see their lives unraveling, but have no drive to stop it.  Puerto Rico is shown as the last stop for people who have no more options in life (a little insulting and arrogant I thought).  Thompson sees nobility in this type of despair and self abuse.

Kemp crosses path with a local kept woman name Chenault (played with arian protestant beauty by Amber Heard).  Chenault’s benefactor is a local developer named Sanderson (played with equal arian disdain by Aaron Eckhart).  It is Sanderson’s goal to develop the island into a tourist paradise at the expense of the local proletariat.  The story is straight out of the Marxist handbook, while much more impactful in the sixties, almost seems cliche and hollow (if not naive) in today’s world.  Sanderson strikes up an unlikely friendship with Kemp and hires him to write favorable articles about his plans for developing the island.   

Kemp continues to dwell in his  bottom feeder world as he makes friends with his fellow journalists.  Each of his friends are a character study in trying to out despair the other. The King of rock bottom is Moburg (played by another actor I revere, Giovanni Ribisi).  Moburg is a borderline street person who shows up to the newspaper offices only occasionally to collect his paycheck.  Moburg is so drug addled that he spends his day trying find extreme new ways to get high.  His performance is meant to be comic relief  (and it is often amusing), but glorifying this type of extreme drug abuse, while not necessarily offending my sensibilities,  I don’t find it appealing in a protagonist.  Ribisi is a fantastic actor and I have great admiration for his performance here despite my misgivings. Chenault’s character is played generically sexy.  She struggles with living a life of privilege (or is she a bored and spoiled socialite) and Kemp tempts her from her kept lifestyle by his supposedly more noble life of hangovers and hovel living.  

I have no problem with political movies that have agendas I don’t agree with.  As long as they are good, I can still enjoy them. The Motorcycle Diaries (semi-interesting that both these movies have ‘diary’ in the title) is a perfect example of a film that isn’t about Marxism directly, but it definitely gives it a sympathetic nod.  It was a fantastic and beautifully made film in which I didn’t necessarily agree with its’ politics, but admired the film greatly.  The Rum Diary not only does not make it’s case, but it is just downright boring.  I find nothing noble about people wallowing in self degradation and addiction and I find nothing inherently evil about other people striving to develop impoverished areas through Capitalism.  As far as I’m concerned it’s a social argument that’s long over (except maybe in California).  

Johnny Depp still remains one of my favorite actors and this film does show case some of his incredible talent.  I admire his devotion to getting a pet project made.  Other than that, this will be a quickly forgotten film that might only find life in a niche DVD market, much like the other Thompson/Depp collaboration; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.  I considered this as a 2 hour waste of time that I will never get back.  At the very least, they could have show cased the beauty of Puerto Rico.   A missed opportunity.

I rate this film * star.

I gave it a star because I’m giving the film the benefit of a doubt for the several times I drifted off.