Colombiana

Colombiana is the latest film from French iconic filmmaker Luc Besson. France is not known for their action films, but Luc produced one of the only good ones (and personal favorite of mine) to come out of France; La Femme Nikita.  Luc has since gone on to become an internationally recognized film maker, but has kept his love of his favorite genre; hot chick assassins who kick butt.  This film continues that tradition without anything too new to add, but does utilize the exceptional talents of up-and-comer (probably safe to say she’s already arrived) Zoe Saldana (Avatar) and gives it a multi-cultural twist.  While this film is the classic Besson formula, it’s still a fun ride.

Zoe Saldana plays Cataleya, a Colombian woman whose crime cartel parents were killed in front of her when she was a young girl (the actress who played the young Cataleya, Amandia Stenberg, is adorable.  She really had her own presence other than just ‘young Zoe Saldana’).  Catalelya escapes the drug cartel hit squad and through some clever traveling maneuvers makes her way from Bogota, Colombia to Chicago, Illinois where her uncle’s family lives.  Kind of impressive for a 9 year old girl, but hey; suspension of disbelief is necessary in action films.  The audience is uneasy as the innocent Cataleya wanders the alleys of South Chicago looking for her Uncle.

For me, the true stand out performance in the film was Cliff Curtis as Uncle Emilio (Tio Emilio if we want Spanish authenticity).  Emilio is a ruthless Colombian gangster, but at the same time has a strong sense and love of family.  He takes in Cataleya and is unexpectedly moved by her.  Something he thought he was incapable of since he lost his son to gangster violence.  Emilio is a frightening person, but you can also see how much he loves and is protective of Cataleya.  Emilio is hoping that the angelic Cataleya is his one chance to produce something good out of his family, but is frightened himself when the 9 year old exclaims her sole purpose in life is to kill the man responsible for killing her parents.  No amount of intimidation can change young Cataleya’s mind (and Emilio is intimidating).  Emilio decides if he can’t change her mind, then he will do the best he can to prepare her.

Flash forward 15 years to Cataleya as an adult.  She has become an assassin-for-hire for her uncle.  She is perfect as no suspects that a slender petit beauty could be such a lethal assassin.  Her skill is incomparable and she leaves no trace.  This is another  trait of all Besson’s protagonists.  While working for Emilio, she takes on assassination projects of her own.  Each designed to lure out the drug lord who murdered her parents.  She leaves her calling card of the Cataleya Orchid flower drawn on her victim’s chests, so that the drug lord will know it’s her.  This is her life and it works for her.

It’s a lonely life, so she has a reoccurring anonymous relationship with a local artist named Danny (played generically sensitive and non-threateningly by Michael Vartan).  This is really thrown in to show off Zoe Saldana’s incredibly beautiful physique during the sex scenes, but it is also illustrates her longing for a normal life.  Her need for secrecy keeps her from establishing any type of real connection, but she wishes it were otherwise.  Danny pushes for more, but Cataleya pushes back harder.  She knows that her life of secrecy has no room to share with another.

          As the film progresses, the FBI starts to close in on Cataleya.  She feels the pressure to find the murdering drug lord before she is captured herself.  Unfortunately, he is under CIA protection when she finds him and it becomes harder to go after him.  She finds an unwilling ally in FBI Special Agent Ross (played by Lennie James of ‘Hung’ fame).  Even though she uses him, Agent Ross knows that everything isn’t as it appears.  He does a more than respectable job portraying the unwavering FBI agent in pursuit.

The film climaxes much like Besson’s other films (La Femme Nikita, The Professional) with immense amounts of explosions and carnage combined with systematic elimination of bad guys amongst the chaos, but it is still an action ride that is enjoyable to take.  I say Luc Besson should keep his fixation on hot chicks causing chaos because it still works.  Zoe Saldana proves she can carry a film by herself and I predict she will be considered a timeless beauty and a great actress as her career progresses.   She has a allure that transcends all categories.  

I rate this film *** stars.

Conan the Barbarian

     Conan the Barbarian is not a good movie.  I usually don’t say such things so blatantly as I try to find something good in every movie I watch.  I realize the time, effort, and risk that goes to create a few hours of cinematic entertainment.  I’m still saying it wasn’t good.  This should not be considered a remake of the 1982 cult classic that launched Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie career (I know he did earlier movies, but that one made him a star).  The plot is in no way related to that one.  It’s a completely different story.   In fact, I found the story in no way related to anything from the Conan world.  I was an avid reader of the book series by Robert E Howard when I was a pre-teen.  It can be argued that Robert E Howard was one of the original architects of the modern sword and sorcery genre.  An impressive accomplishment for a man who committed suicide in 1936 at the young age of 30.  His work was considered no more than pulp fiction during his lifetime, but his work and breadth of characters have been revered by every generation since then. Almost canonized.  I won’t say I’m an expert, but I do know my Conan. This movie was in no way related to the character other than the name and a few of the countries mentioned.  This felt like a generic sword and sorcery movie that some movie company slapped the name ‘Conan the Barbarian’ on because they had the rights to the name.

            In fairness, I think they captured the look of Conan effectively in the actor Jason Momoa.  He looks much more like the fictional character than Schwarzenegger ever did.  However, other than the fact that he was ‘born into battle’, there is no other similarity to the Conan mythos.  The plot exists only to have a way to connect multiple fight scenes.  The scenes actually become tedious after a while as the outcomes are rarely in doubt.  Conan walks in and starts a fight.  He then proceeds to dominate everyone with dazzling sword play.  It was interesting the first dozen times.  The novelty wore off quickly.

            The story, what little there was, follows the life of Conan the Barbarian of Cimmeria.  His clan is wiped out by the evil magical warlord Khalar (played by an almost unrecognizable Stephen Lang from Avatar fame).  Khalar and his evil daughter Marique (played by an equally unrecognizable Rose McGowan) pillage the known world in search of fragments to an ancient mask that will make him all powerful.  Witnessing the death of his father at the hand of Khalar, Conan sets out on a life-long quest for revenge searching for the evil warlord.  Since, in the time it took for Conan to become an adult, Khalar became the most notorious ruler in the Hyperborian world, I’m not sure why it was so hard to find him.  Eventually, Conan does identify Khalar and captures the one thing that Khalar wants to complete his magical plans; a pure blood virgin from the temple (you have to have hot chicks in sword and sorcery movies).  Conan battles Khalar’s evil minions and the now uber creepy daughter as they try to take the tempting virgin from Conan.  Again, it’s fight after fight that keeps building to the ultimate battle between Conan and Khalar.  Any surprises there?

            I tried to approach this film as a non fan, but I couldn’t.  There was something magical about Robert E Howard’s stories that sparked the imagination of several generations of fantasy enthusiasts.  This film just failed to capture the wonder and discovery of Conan’s travels and adventures.  Conan wasn’t just about the fighting.  He was about exploring new lands and discovering magical realms.  Conan was a man who challenged the gods and won.  Conan was what every boy dreamed he could become.  This movie captured none of that inspiration. You could have slapped any name on this movie as it really had nothing to do with Conan.

I give this film * star.



Fright Night

In the interest of full disclosure, the movie Fright Night is a remake of my favorite B-movie from the 80’s of the same name. That being said, I’m not sure if that would bias me for or against the film.  Let’s just say I was looking forward to it with trepidation.  I have to say that this was a pleasant surprise.  Finally, after a long cinematic drought where vampires have been portrayed as love sick, effeminately handsome, morally conflicted bloodsuckers who belong on the CW network, we have a movie about a down and dirty, evil, and sinisterly cool vampire.  It is definitely a remake, but is different enough from the original movie to stand on it’s own. This movie does an incredibly good job at not taking itself seriously, but at the same time being genuinely frightening.

The film makes clever use of modern day issues in it’s story line.  The movie takes place in a suburban community in Las Vegas.  The ‘For Sale’ signs everywhere is a sign of the failing housing market, but also a clever plot device to explain the mysterious disappearance of households from the neighborhood.  “Another family got up and left” is the common belief.  Into this backdrop we are introduced to Charlie Brewster (played by Anton Yelchin of Chekov Star Trek fame [I predict he is going to be a huge name someday]).  Charlie lives with his single mother (Toni Collette) and seems to have it all; popularity, an attractive girl friend (played by the too cute Imogen Poots [even the name, right?]), and he is part of the ‘cool’ crowd.  Only his nerdy childhood friend Ed (played by the perennially nerdy Christopher Mintz-Plasse) remembers him when he wasn’t all that.  An association that Charlie tries to live down.

In moves the broodingly handsome and mysterious ‘Jerry’ next door.  Colin Farrell takes on the role of Jerry the Vampire this time around.  Where Chris Sarandon portrayed Jerry in the first movie as a suave and sophisticated urbanite, Farrell portrays Jerry with sheer animal magnetism.  Just a look from him and the women swoon from the dark evil he emanates.  No words are needed.  As both Charlie and Ed notice that more and more kids are missing during morning roll call at school, only Ed makes the connection that Jerry is a vampire.  Charlie is a skeptic as how can any vampire be named ‘Jerry’?

However; through a series of mysterious disappearances and happenings that start to hit close to home, Charlie comes to believe that Jerry truly is a vampire.  The scene where Jerry confronts Charlie in the kitchen doorway of his house (of course, unable to enter without being invited) is intensely visceral.  If this were a different type of movie, that scene alone would have been Oscar worthy.  Like a mouse before a snake, Charlie is frozen while Jerry subtlely taunts him.  He enjoys Charlie’s anguish (he can smell it).  Charlie becomes galvanized to take action.

Charlie only knows one expert on vampires other than Ed (who has disappeared) and that is the Las Vegas performer Peter Vincent (the name is an homage to Peter Cushing and Vincent Price for those old enough to remember).  In the original movie the forever under-appreciated Roddy McDowell portrayed Peter Vincent as a down on his luck late night host of a horror movie show.  Given the rise of cable since the first movie and the disappearance of those types of shows, this film portrayed Peter Vincent as someone reminiscent of a Chris Angel.  British actor David Tennant is a cross between Chris Angel and Russell Brand.  He has a gothic Vegas act that has made him rich and a household name.  Unfortunately, he has a rock and roll life style and is constantly inebriated on Midoori.  He knows he is a charlton (it’s just a Vegas act after all), and is not receptive to Charlie’s plea for help.  It isn’t until the vampire menace hits close to home that he becomes convinced and throws his lot in with Charlie.

This movie takes on a common horror theme of the stranger next door.  It uses the typical horror plot devices of sudden frights and hidden terrors, but despite all that it works well and comes across as anything but tired. I will say the soundtrack was a bit overbearing, but that is a small criticism for a film that did so many things right. This was a fun nostalgic trip from the 80‘s with an updated and modern twist.  Colin Farrell shows he still has it no matter what type of film he is in and Anton Yeltin gets the chance to take the lead role in a movie.  Funny, scary, and an all around good time.  What more could you want from a matinee?

I give this film *** 1/2

The Change Up

       The Change-Up is a tired premise for comedy.  Let’s call it the Freaky Friday  for guys who like R-rated comedies.  This movie has a Judd Apatow feel to it, but was actually directed by David Dobkin.  Interestingly (or maybe only to me), Leslie Mann, who is Judd Apatow’s wife and is in most of his movies, plays a supporting role in this movie.  Normally, if I knew that an actress was in movies that her director husband made, I would be rolling my eyes, but Leslie Mann has proven herself to be a gifted comedic actress time and time again.  I would like to see her take the lead in her own movie someday.  But I digress, this movie is based on the premise once cleverly described by the comedian Garry Shandling:  “I’m single and my best friend is married and we are both envious of each others lifestyle”.  

The story centers around two life long friends, Married Dave Lockwood (Jason Bateman; who would of thought back in the 80’s that he would end up the most famous Bateman) and Mitch Planko (played by Ryan Reynolds; his signature sarcastic wit fits perfectly for this role).  Dave is a successful lawyer on the verge of becoming partner at his law firm.  He struggles to balance his demanding work and home life which involves twin new borns.  He is the picture of haggard.  Mitch is an occasional actor who spends most of his day lying around getting high and having sexual encounters with questionable women.  His life doesn’t appear to be nearly as stressful as Dave’s.  [sidenote:  it’s interesting to see, as I read a lot of movie reviews, critics perspectives of who has the better lifestyle.  I found that it tended to be gender based.  Female critics found Dave’s life more appealing and male critics found Mitch’s life more appealing.  There seems to be something appealing about arrested adolescence for men that women find repulsive. Totally unscientific observation].  After a night out of drinking and envying each others life, Dave and Mitch find themselves relieving themselves in a fountain while exclaiming that they wish they had each other’s life.  Somehow this causes them to wake up in each other’s bodies the next morning.

The antics that follow are funny for it’s R-rated shock comedy, but it mainly uses the fish-out-of-water cliches of every film of this type.  Somehow, despite being totally inept living each other’s life, their unique perspectives allows them to excel where in reality they would have been fired immediately.  I find this a tiresome and awkward cliche in all fish-out-of-water comedies. Still, what can I say?  I laughed and laughed a lot.  I think this has more to do with how much I enjoy Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds as performers.  They make a good comedy team and play off each other well.  Some of the shock gags are over the line, but that is what they were going for.

Some of the funniest scenes are when each tries to deal with each other’s love life.  Mitch has always admired Dave’s beautiful wife (the aforementioned Leslie Mann), but when the realities of having a wife who is way too comfortable around her husband of 20 years hit him, his libido is quickly curbed.  Dave is not so lucky, he uses his now Mitch persona to go out with his legal assistant Sabrina (the impossibly beautiful Olivia Wilde) who he has always had a crush on. She turns out to be more than he can handle.  I won’t give any spoilers, but the resolutions are once again cliche and tired.

I can’t say I didn’t enjoy this movie.  I really did.  It’s just that i wasn’t impressed by it.  Sometimes just laughing through an entire movie is enough, but it’s not something I would qualify as a cinematic experience.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I am against watching movies from home.  Movies on a TV screen is not a movie.  A true movie going experience must happen in a theater.  This one, I would have been just as happy to watch this on my Ipad.  

I give this film ** stars  (I can’t in good conscience give it more stars)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

      Rise of the Planet Apes shows the state of Hollywood.  It is a remake of a prequel of an almost campy movie of the 70’s.  Hollywood keeps going to tried and true money wells as opposed to riskier new material (for every Avatar, there are scores of flops we never heard of).  That being said, I have to say that this movie was a welcome surprise.  Modern cinema technology has finally allowed this concept to be fully fleshed out in a very real way.  The Planet of the Apes series of the 60’s and 70’s and even the more recent Tim Burton reboot of 10 years ago (has it really been that long ago?)has always had a challenge with the suspension of disbelief.  You could always tell that the apes were men walking hunched over in ape suits and that took some of the edge off of it. The technology of this film, through the magic of motion capture (similar to what was used in Avatar), really allows you to put aside that disbelief and totally get wrapped up into the plot.  The apes become fully fleshed out and their faces are able to express emotion that their movie predecessors never could.

      The premise of the movie centers in San Francisco around a pharmaceutical scientist named Will Rodman (James Franco).  Will is passionately working on a drug that will reverse the effects of Alzheimer’s.  He has a vested interest as his father (John Lithgow)is suffering from the disease and he struggles with watching his father deteriorate in front of him.  His experiments on chimps not only show promise, but an unexpected side effect; increased intelligence.  Unfortunately, a particularly aggressive chimp creates unwanted attention and causes the whole program to scrapped.  The order is given to put down all the chimps and to start over.  The company’s chimp handler discovers the aggressive chimp was pregnant and his conscience does not allow him to put down the new born.  He talks Will into caring for the chimp until he can find other arrangements.

Will is reluctant, but when he sees how well his father reacts to the chimp, he decides to take him on.  His Shakespeare quoting father bequeaths the name Caesar upon the chimp. Will's scientific curiosity is piqued when he realizes the mother's drug increased intelligence was passed on to Caesar.  However, Caesar's presence can’t stop the father’s deterioration and Will takes the drastic measure of testing the drug on him.  It works better than he could have hoped for.  His father seems to make a full recovery.  All three continue for several years, growing closer than Will would have thought possible.  The introduction of Caesar’s vet Caroline (Freida Pinto) as a love interest completes the family.  However, all good things must come to an end.  Caesar’s intelligence allows him to see how the world is and that he is seen, at best, as a pet.  He loves his family, but he is unhappy with his lot.  When a physical altercation with the neighbor takes place, Caesar truly sees how he is viewed; as a wild animal.  He is taken from his family and thrown into the nightmare world of confinement.   Slowly, Caesar begins to awaken to his true purpose and rises to his rightful level of leadership among his simian inmates.  

I repeat that what makes this film so special is the special effects (I’m usually not a fan of effects over story).  The ability to convey Caesar’s pain and anguish through his facial expressions is impressive.  It’s something the previous movies couldn’t accomplish.  With the exception of Caesar’s jailers, there really aren’t ‘bad guys’, just circumstance.  The Planet of the Apes series, despite its’ campiness was always a cautionary tale.  It used Sci-Fi as a way to illustrate how we treat others and how the tables could be turned.  It was especially significant considering the revolutionary attitudes of the 60’s and early 70’s.  Whether we are talking civil rights, animal rights, or even how we treat anyone who we don’t consider ‘normal’, Planet of the Apes illustrates what it is like to be on the receiving end of bigotry in a very real way.  It shows how we de-humanize ourselves through the act of de-humanizing others.  It also cautions that despite how intelligent we believe we are, nature has a plan of its' own.

Despite Caesar’s treatment in human society or his feelings of betrayal by Will, he never lost his love for his family.  Caesar fights for what he believes is right.  It’s not that he hates humans, it’s that he loves his brothers and sisters.  The film is about special effects, but it also has an impactful story.  It has people (I include the Apes in that as well) we care about and throws in a nostalgic nod to a film from the past.  In fact, for those with a sharp eye, you can see small clues and homages to the original film and possibly setting the stage for a future sequel (make sure you read all the headlines on the newspapers you see in the background).  Also, I won’t give it away, but there is a deep bow to Charlton Heston when someone utters one of the most iconic lines from the original film (the audience I was a part of started applauding during that scene).

Overall, a fun and engaging film.  I give this film *** 1/2 stars

Crazy Stupid Love

Crazy Stupid Love is one of the best relationship movies I have seen since ‘500 Days of Summer’.  The trailers make this movie look like it would be a dreaded ‘chick flick’, but this truly is a great movie about relationships in all their complexities and provides no solutions, just observations.  There are a lot of great performances by an ensemble cast and one of the best soundtracks that I have heard in quite awhile.  The film has witty moments throughout and one could almost call it a comedy, but it really is very poignant and looks at the lives of people we care about.  It doesn’t try to gloss over their pain or joys with humor.

Steve Carell plays the straight-laced Cal Weaver, a man whose suburban dream life of a house, a beautiful wife, and two kids begins to fall apart after he learns that his wife Emily (Julianna Moore) of twenty-five years wants a divorce after having an affair.  Suddenly, Cal finds himself in the single world with no idea how to navigate it.  He hangs out at a local singles bar endlessly boring people with stories about the mess his life has become.  His sad sack ways catch the attention of the local lothario, Jacob (Ryan Gosling).  Jacob is a player of the highest magnitude and is a true virtuoso in the art of picking up women in bars.  He is handsome, slick, and well dressed with a line for every situation.  He takes pity on Cal and decides to take him under his wing and teach him how to get back into the game.  Predictable, but still hilarious, montages of Jacob trying to shop with Cal to try and improve his look ensue and it’s a pleasure to watch.  Jacob is a true Jedi master and eventually elevates Cal to an acceptable level where he can ‘stalk his prey’.

Despite Cal’s successful transformation he is still deeply in love with his wife and does not adjust well to his new life.  It doesn’t help that Jacob has taken an interest in a woman who doesn’t fall for his predatory lines (at least not initially).  Hannah (Emma Stone) is beautiful and intelligent.   She sees through Jacob’s swagger, but at the same time is intrigued.  As she warms to Jacob, he begins to reevaluate what he really wants.  He begins to make a connection with someone as opposed to just a conquest.

There are many subplots that would take up too much space to discuss, but they all overlap and intertwine.  Many comedic situations arise from this and at one point I was afraid it would digress into a French style comedy of errors (not a big fan of those).  The moment I thought all was lost, the story returned to its’ proper level of sophistication and insight.  It descended again at another point when the son spoke awkwardly of what he had learned in front of his classmates in a school auditorium (I was having nightmarish visions of every 80’s teenage drama ever made [thank goodness there was no slow clap]).  Yet again the director took the scene and redeemed his vision.  This film does not follow rules and you are sincerely curious how all the situations will work out.  

I’ve always respected Steve Carrell, but he tends to get pigeon holed into only certain types of comedies.  He is a gifted performer and is able to convey a wide array of emotions.  He can be humorous and heartbreaking simultaneously.  I hope the film industry will allow him to expand his types of roles as I think he has a career future similar to Steve Martin or Jim Carrey.

This is the perfect date movie as, I believe, both men and women can enjoy it.  I wouldn’t call it so much funny as I would charming.  With the exception of the two scenes I mentioned, the film takes humor from life, but treats it with respect and care at the same time.  The inner conflict and turmoil of people is always there even as the film allows us to smile at their struggles.

This is just a good film and time well spent.  I’m a big Ryan Gosling fan even though I rarely like the movies he is in (One can respect ability even if one doesn’t like the product [‘Lars and the Real Girl’ being the exception]).  Steve Carrell is funny, but his skills are much broader.  Movies like ‘Dan in Real Life’ shows he has the talent, now if only he can find the right vehicle to show some of his depth.  

I give this movie **** stars