Ted

     Every child at one time wished that their childhood stuffed toy would come to life and be their best friend.  I can’t list all the movies and stories with this as a premise, but it goes as far back as Pinocchio at least.  All of that is well and good, but what happens twenty years later after both the stuffed teddy bear and child grow up to become pot smoking slackers?  That is the premise for ‘Ted’ and it is hilarious.

Seth MacFarlane, creator of ‘Family Guy’ brings his crass and crude, politically incorrect humor to this R-rated fairly tale of a boy and his teddy bear.  If you don’t appreciate MacFarlane’s brand of ‘I can’t believe he went there’ humor, then you probably won’t like this, but if you are thirsting for the type of humor that you really can’t repeat anywhere else in today’s politically correct world, then this is for you.  Even though the jokes are obvious, they hit their mark and I laughed throughout the entire film.

John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) and his teddy bear ‘Ted’ gained worldwide childhood fame when Ted came miraculously to life through John’s wish.  Unfortunately, Ted went down the path of most childhood celebrities and made some bad decisions in his life.  John grew up to be a pot smoking slacker employed at a minimum wage job at a rental car company, while Ted squandered his celebrity and spends his days on John’s couch. They waste countless hours watching their favorite movie ‘Flash Gordon’ over and over again.  There biggest intellectual conundrum is wondering how a movie that is so bad can be so good at the same time. They seem quite content living the slacker lifestyle, unfortunately the love of John’s life is Lori (played with approachable beauty Mila Kunis), a successful woman who is growing impatient waiting for her boyfriend to grow up.  John wants to make Lori happy, but her disapproval of Ted’s debauchurous lifestyle and influence makes it a challenge to keep their relationship.  John decides Ted must move out in order to keep Lori.  

Ted is hurt, but wants what is best for John.  He gets a menial job with a promise from John they will always hang out and be best buddies.  Just like always.  However, anyone who has been through that situation knows how impossible that is.  John does his best to leave that part of his life behind him, but Ted’s bachelor lifestyle of women, getting high, and wild parties makes it difficult for John to focus on his relationship with Lori.  When Ted lands a visit from the legendary Flash Gordon actor Sam Jones at one of his wild parties it is more than John can resist and he breaks his promise to Lori and skips out on her important company party.  Being fed up, Lori leaves John to wallow in eternal adolescence with Ted.

This is where the movie shows a little heart as Ted struggles to console his heartbroken buddy.  He can’t imagine life without John, but he knows that Lori and he were meant to be together.  I don’t mean for this to sound sappy because it’s not.  It’s just interesting to see a little warmth amongst all the hilarious vulgarity.  Ted does his best to convince Lori to take back John, but it’s not until a crisis happens that Ted shows what he is really made of.

Anyone who is a fan of Seth MacFafarlane knows what to expect.  Only this time it is completely uncensored and MacFarlane takes full advantage.  This is just an entertaining summer slacker film.  No depth or anything to dwell upon.  Just a lot of fun and guilty laughter.

I give this film *** stars