Biutiful

         Biutiful

         Okay, before I get to the actual review, let me just say that I think Javier Bardem is one of the coolest actors today.  He was cool as a psychotic killer in ‘No Country for Old Men”, he was cool as a seducer in “Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona” and he’s just an all around cool guy.  The camera loves this guy.  Antonio Banderas (and Penelope Cruz of course) is the last Spaniard to make it big in the American cinema, but I think Javier has it all over Antonio.  He doesn’t have Antonio’s pretty boy good-looks, rather he has a rugged unique face.  He has a facial intensity that you just can’t turn away from…did I mention I think he’s cool? He radiates cool and hipness.

            Now the movie:  I’m going to alienate most people with this line… this is a sub-titled movie.  Any one left?

            I wish I could say you were wrong on this one.  “Biutiful” is a movie that fits every stereotype that Americans have about sub-titled movies.  Europeans chide Americans for their need to have feel good endings to their movies, but there is the other side of the coin.  European cinema is sometimes obsessed in creating the most tragic films they are able.  Each director measures his/her artistic ability by trying to “out tragedy” other films.  Well director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu wins.  He has created the most tragic film ever created.  Poverty? Check. Yelling, screaming, and crying? Check. depressed bi-polar wife? Check. Selling his soul for money job? Check. Tragic death? Check.  Mass tragic death? Check.  What more could make this possibly more depressing?  Oh yeah, the lead character is dying from cancer and has 3 months to live which will leave his two young children homeless!  Check.

            I tried to find some other reviews to get a sense what this movie was about.  I couldn’t find many and the ones I did find all seemed to have a different opinion on what the movie was about.  Here goes my version… This movie follows the life of a man named Uxbal.  He makes his meager living in the fringes of Spain’s underworld off of illegal immigrant labor.  Having discovered he has 3 months to live he seeks a path of redemption as his life collapse around him.  He fights to come to grips with the life he has led. The film is circular and ends where it starts. 

            Uxbal is not inherently evil.  He loves his two children, even if he has a bit of a temper with them.  Despite the fact that his ex-wife’s bi-polar promiscuous ways disgust him, he still loves her.  For all intents and purpose, his cut from selling illegal immigrant labor makes him a slave trader, but he still cares for the people he works with and tries to help where he can.  One Chinese immigrant even babysits his children.  Uxbal’s primary concern when he learns he is dying is to tie up all the loose ends of his life and leave his children provided for.  His parents died when he was young and he barely remembers them.  He is heartbroken that the same fate will befall his children.

            The movie follows Uxbal on this journey; however, tragedy starts to pile on his already collapsing life.  Instead of tying up loose ends, the entire fabric of his life starts to unravel.  Each tragedy is bigger than the previous one.  How much tragedy can a dying man take?  The answer?  Quite a lot apparently.  If his life story wasn’t tragic enough the movie explores the life of some of the Chinese and African illegal immigrants.  Their lives are tragic too.

            This was the longest 2 hours 18 minutes that I can remember.  The movie just wouldn’t end no matter how much I wanted it to.  Every year there is always that one foreign film that the Oscars nominate.  I think pretentious people say they like these types of films to try and make themselves seem sophisticated.  I know this is very judgmental of me, but I can think of no other reason this film would be nominated.  Sure taste is subjective, but I really don’t see how anyone can ‘enjoy’ this film.  I lose patience with cliché happy endings in movies as much as any hi-brow pretentious cinemaphile, but come on, Alejandro … Lighten up!

            I’ve known a few Spaniards in my travels and they’ve all seemed extremely cool.  Almost without exception.  Maybe it’s something in the water.  I just wish their films would follow suit.

I rate this:  zero stars 

I highly recommend you don’t see this film.